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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]THe difference is in this debate only one side is judging the other. In the SAHM vs WOHM the judging contest is mutual.

I don't think moms who take the epidural give a shit or feel guilty about it. It's the ones who think they deserve recognition or validation for having gone without that set the tone.

I even know moms who opted for a vanity C... Personally I do judge that as it just seems lazy. But, not the moms who are realistic to know they may want pain medication.[/quote]

I hear a lot about how ladies who have med-free births judge people who get epidurals, c-sections, etc. Every time someone at my office is pregnant, I hear about how judgy "my people" are, because right after my daughter was born, when my colleague asked, I told her that I didn't have any medication.

I admit that I have judged women based on their birth choices. A friend of a friend was induced and got an epidural almost immediately, then afterward bragged about "how great she was at being in labor". She went on at great length about how our experiences were the same, and honestly, they just were not. She was great at being in labor. But her labor and my labor were just different. Hers was easy and she spent it watching TV and posting on Facebook about how easy it was. Mine was really hard. I don't think that I'm any better or worse than she is at birthing babies - we both have great babies who have always been healthy. But our experiences were very different and mine was harder and her casual comments that they were basically the same were annoying and I judged her for them.

At the end of the day, though, I feel like I have heard a lot more "Why do you feel like you have to be a hero? Look at you with your crazy crunchy lifestyle choices! Do you think you deserve a medal or something" comments than I have of the "You're lazy and less of a mother for your epidural/c section/whatever" comments. Maybe that's just me, coming from where I'm coming from. If a mom is proud of her med-free labor, let her be proud. Be proud for her. Her choices don't say anything about yours. Be proud of yourself for however you did it. No matter how a baby is born, it's never "easy". There is always "labor" involved, whether it's medicated or not.[/quote]

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