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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You can't change or fix your relationship with her unless she's willing and interested in doing that as well.  All you can do is change yourself.  So, accept this is who she is, this is how she operates in the world, check in with her periodically, demonstrate that you care about it, and don't try to force her.  The more you push at her, the more she sees that you can't accept her as she is.[/quote]

PP here and this is spot-on, and avoids demonizing the OP.[/quote]

+1.  Obviously we only have one side of the story here, and potentially an incomplete one at that, but it's natural to feel hurt when a family member doesn't want a relationship with you and offers no explanation.  Because taking OP's post at face value, it seems like the sister bristles at even minimal contact, and not just with her.  Not even letting the grandparents see their grandkid?  This kind of goes beyond typical introvert stuff (and I'm saying this as an introvert).

Generally, with relationships it take two to tango.  I have two younger sisters who are more extroverted and gregarious than me- the youngest and I have always had an easy relationship, and the two of them talk all the time, but as adults I almost always had to be the one to initiate contact with my middle sister.  She rarely calls, and visits younger sister and her family more often.  She pretty much told me point blank a couple years ago that it's because conversations on the phone are too one-sided, I'm apparently boring and don't talk enough.  So other than setting up occasional Facetime chats between her and my kids, I just stopped initiating.  We text, and get along fine when we do see eachother, but I've kind of accepted a more superficial relationship.  But could I put more effort into making it less so?  Sure.[/quote]

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