Reply to sister just told me about disturbing childhood events

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow, you all are harsh on OP.

Think about this from OP's perspective 30 seconds before she gets that text. At this point she is so upset with her sister she doesn't even want to talk to her. I have never been so mad at a family member I've threatened to cut contact, so I imagine it's not a rational, generous, empathetic state of mind.

The next text from the sister basically says "you thought we had one problem, but actually we need to focus on this much deeper, older problem I've been carrying for years." Accept that that's true. It is still asking a lot for OP to immediately stop having the feelings she was already having in the middle of a fight in order to care for her sister.

I'm not saying the sister did anything wrong by telling her, or that OP needs to blow it off, but I don't think it's fair to pile on OP and call her horrible because she didn't IMMEDIATELY react perfectly. She clearly also has childhood baggage impacting their relationship and is not an objective outside adult. Maybe she needs a few days to calm down so she can deal with this news separate from the fight and with more generosity.

OP, I'm sorry this happened and is causing harm all these years later. I hope you find a way to repair things with your sister and protect your kids.[/quote]

I don’t think the issue is that OP didn’t IMMEDIATELY react perfectly. I think what people are reacting to is everything in the OP’s post and in her replies here. Of course OP can’t be expected to nail it perfect in the moment but she’s had some time to process and continues to not be handling it very well. [/quote]

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