Reply to What's better, fitting into your neighborhood socially, or loving the location?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do any of the posters saying "Location, location, location" actually live in a neighborhood where they don't fit in socially or socio-economically?  (aside from the Cleveland Park poster who found that she didn't and chose to move)?
It's easy to say "location, location, location" until you're stuck in a neighborhood where you have very little in common with 90% your neighbors.  
We live in one (beautiful house in upper NW DC which we afforded due to a combination of factors) and we often wish we had moved to Silver Spring, Takoma Park, etc instead.  We have a decent enough income but we don't have the same lifestyles as any of our neighbors.  I SAH but I don't have a full time nanny.  I don't have a vacation home.  I don't drive a luxury SUV.  I don't wear all Patagonia. etc. etc. etc.  People are nice but we are very different and I really wish we were surrounded by a different (more international, more middle class) community.   I had no idea this would matter when I was buying a house and hadn't been in this situation.  I would have said "location" as well and I did--evidenced by where we bought our house.

We do have social circles and friends all over the city but I wish we had them next door. [/quote]

I think it's about really you and OP, and not the neighbors.  Could it be that you are just projecting a bit on your neighbors?  Unfairly?  I, too, live in a beautiful house in NW DC (that we afforded on our own), but like you also do not have a full time nanny, vacation home, luxury SUV, and would never spend money on Patagonia.  And, I have all kinds of neighbor friends.

Often, when people are holding back, people pick up those unapproachable vibes and respond accordingly.  I think it was OP who said she "really tried," but if you are already judging the situation, that's not a lot of effort.  I have hung out with friends in Mt. Rainier who have complained about their neighbors, so it's not all hunky dory there.  It's attitude, plain and simple.  OP, dig down and find the best solution for you and your family.[/quote]

I'm the OP, and I think there have been quite a few posters who related to what I said and described a similar situation. It must have been one of them who said she'd "really tried". I haven't really tried yet, as we are still new here. And I don't want to give the wrong impression. It seems like there are many nice people here. People have been nice about introducing themselves, and the kids have been nice to our kids. So, really I'm just giving you my gut feeling. The kids seem nice enough, but when we actually do playdates, [b]I find myself surprised how rude the kids have been to me and to my kids[/b]. (My kids don't seem to mind, so it's not that bad, I guess. But I mind on their behalf.) But this is just a handful of playdates. I'm sure there are kids here who are not like that at all. I know it takes time. It's hard to describe what I mean. [b]I don't feel relaxed here, like you feel if you are really at home. Like how the one PP wrote that she felt about Takoma Park, and the other about Silver Spring.[/b] I'd like the feeling of moving into a neighborhood and having it feel like home.

But I know there is another side to this. There are some people who bring the feeling of "home" with them. Like the previous PP who was so happy with her community. Maybe it's really just that she was lucky, but I also get the sense that she's the kind of person who reaches out and enriches the whole neighborhood with her energy and community spirit. I tell myself I should stay here and be like that. But I still would love to have the kind of place that fits us like a glove. I don't know how to describe it, but feel some PPs understand.[/quote]

OP, I'm with you until you say things that can be construed stereotypically...that is if you truly believe the kids in a wealthier area ruder than kids in a lower income area.  That's ridiculous!  Frankly, if you believe it, you see what you want to see.  And, I say this as someone who grew up on both sides of the tracks.  My mother wouldn't say that one group was ruder than another.  Different in many ways, but she wouldn't boil it down to that.  The parents in both neighborhoods wanted the best for their kids, ate dinner, had yards, had families, loved people, and had been hurt.  That's common ground.  [/quote]

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