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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1-4 make zero sense.  I don't know how you think money and standard of living is the same when you literally have to buy a new house and have the expenses of a second home, but with less income.  Eventually one or both parents find a new bf/gf and they come with families, even if neither parent remarries.  [/quote]

Because all of the money I was saving by being married per month just sitting in the bank literally pays for my house and everything else. There is not less income. I had income. He had income. [b]While married, my income was mostly saved sitting in the bank and we mostly lived off his[/b]. I paid for all of my own stuff and all of the kids stuff and all of the kids chlidcare while married and the rest sat in the bank. We lived below our means while married. So the money is just shifted. It is not a waste to have my own house. I now have my own financial independence and an appreciating asset with full control over my financial future instead of him telling me what do to with my money (ie, me putting it all in the bank and doing nothing with it). We kept our own retirements. There is not less money. It is divided. Only people who live below their means in the first place can make this work. He wanted to buy a $1 million plus house when we were married. I said no. Thank God. Yes, then we would have had to sell it...but that is ridicuous in the first place. We bought less (and I did not want to buy at all) and it enabled us to be able to find a way for one person to keep the house and me to buy my own property. It is a little more expensive but it is not drastic at all. Savings rate for everything is the same.[/quote]

Your situation is unusual.  But you still are ignoring that divorce causes your expenses to go up and forced you to spend what had previously been savings to afford to have two different households.  That means you are saving less and there will be less for all those other things.

You may be wealthy enough that this isn't a huge deal and you can still afford most things -- a luxury most do not have -- but there is still less to go around given your added expenses.[/quote]

You still don't get it. everything I was saving is literally going into a mortgage which is actually better than sitting in a savings account. No, I am not saving in general at the same rate because it was in savings, but the money was just sitting there. But I can make a profit off a house. I can't make a profit on .5 interest in a high-yield savings. I am saving the same for college, the same for retirement. [b]My point is, if both spouses were working the entire marriage, the financial impact can be minimal[/b]. My kids don't have less...they have exactly the same as they always did--plus another house. Yes, it is a little more expensive overall but who cares? I was in a terrible marriage that never should have happened to begin with and I stayed way too long. I paid in years. A little more expense is nothing. I am never remarrying or living with another person. I would rather be free now than waste more years. Money is not everything.[/quote]

No, you still don't get it.  Your situation is unusual.  It only works if you are both working, both making good money, and both saving significantly during the course of the marriage.  (I don't care whether you have those savings in cash, the market, or being put towards a mortgage.  That's irrelevant here.)

You have the luxury of saying a "little more expense is nothing."  That's not true for most people.

Now, that doesn't mean they should necessarily stay in a marriage, even with the financial sacrifices that come with divorce.  That's especially true if a marriage is "terrible," as you describe your marriage.  But it does no good to pretend that most people facing divorce won't have to make financial sacrifices and will find themselves worse off financially.[/quote]

Most people in this area or dual income families working professionals. It also does not make sense for you to espouse an idea of divorce that may have been common 10-20 years ago but that is not the case now. There will be some financial impact, but for many people it is not what you fear it to be. If the financial impact is minimal, which it can be in a lot of cases in areas like this, divorce is not that bad. I am not exceedingly wealthy. I do okay. I work for a nonprofit and have my entire career. But I have also saved since I was 21 and lived below my means. Don't assume other divorces are not like this. I know a few. And I was never saying I was like most people...what I was doing is trying to stop people from making the ridiculous assumption that a divorce is this disaster you portrayed it to be in your ridiculous list. This is not the 1980s or the 1990s.[/quote]

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