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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think that your choice to remain a virgin until marriage played a big role in you marrying a sexual dud. Remember all those guys you dated who quickly broke up over your no-sex policy? Well there is a reason for that. Normal guys with a normal sex drive do not / can not / would not "wait until marriage". And the guys who DO are (like you said) just not sexually motivated. In other words, you purposefully picked a dud and now question why he is a dud?

As a consolation, you have bragging rights that while all your lady friends are making excuses and running away from their horn-dog husbands, you can peacefully scroll DCUM in the nude.[/quote]

This is spot on.   OP - were you and DH sexually active with each other before marriage - even though you didn’t have sex technically?  Or was he hands off before marriage as well?[/quote]

OP here. Yes. We were pretty active for the first 5-6 years we were together. He couldn't keep his hands off me and we would do everything except PIV. Being a virgin, thats all I knew and it was a fantastic time. I was never NOT sexual...I just had cultural and religious hangups to wait until marriage.

After I lost my virginity, I want sex more than ever. To enjoy it and to connect with him in that way. Meanwhile he...doesn't seem to want to touch me sexually. He still gives me lots of kisses and hugs if we are around each other but he turns me down everytime I initiate. It has been 3 months since we last had sex.  :( [/quote]

PP here. Ok that's a very different story vs what your OP led me to believe. I retract my statements about you picking a known dud. Instead, what we seem to have is a bait and switch scenario, is that more accurate? He showed (reasonably satisfying) interest earlier but now he could care less about sex?

Based on this, my revised advice would be to escalate this big time, make it a total relationship deal breaker. Ask him  what changes (exactly) are needed for him to be an active participant in having a normal regular sex life with you twice per week. If he is uninterested, then your options are to open the marriage or divorce.[/quote]

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