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[quote=Anonymous]My dad had serious anger problems. My life was part walking on eggshells, part playing "protector" to my mom and younger brother.

I remember his face--bright red, clenched, looking for all the world like he wanted to murder me. I remember being very frightened of him. And also loving him deeply and wishing that I could be good enough for him.

I made some poor choices in my dating life before I met my husband, who is the kindest man I've ever known. I got lucky that I did not repeat the pattern that had been engrained in me growing up in a family like that.

One thing I had to go to therapy for is the tremendous guilt I feel if I express any anger (or irritation even) with my kids. Like... paralyzing, deep guilt. It's because so much of my life strategy was doing everything I could to *not* be like my dad. So it's hard for me to express anger in appropriate ways.

I struggle with hypervigilance and waiting for the other shoe to drop. I also struggle with compartmentalizing and being out of touch with how I feel.

Please make sure your DH gets help. Your kids and you deserve a place where you feel happy and whole. Home should  feel safe. [/quote]

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