Reply to MIL pissed we didn't acknowledge/remember her wedding anniversary

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's your DH's problem Op
And it shouldn't be a problem, anyway. But some older parents feel there ought to be a big party. They can't arrange it .. it wouldn't be the polite thing to do (in their mind) so their children should take the reins. And shouldn't have to be told this. For a milestone anniversary. But which milestone anniversary is most important to them? One big party is enough. Have DH determine which year they would like this. Zero in on that. Once and that's it.[/quote]

Right, their children. OP is not their child. [/quote]

What about when the ILs have decided that their child's spouse is like one of their own children? This appears to be the norm in DH's family, and it comes from a loving place, but it has caused all kinds of awkwardness for me. The day we were married, they told me, "We will consider you our own daughter, and we hope you will consider us another Mom and Dad," or something like that, I wasn't able to process it at the time, but I didn't know I was making a commitment by saying thanks. I never wanted to call them Mom and Dad, and when I realized that was the intention, I called them nothing for years and now I call them by their grandparent names.

I get into situations like the OPs all the time because I think they are treating me like their own child, and so they expect me to act like their own child. Like, why wouldn't I be the one to arrange visits and answer for DH, when I am like their own daughter?[/quote]

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