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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Once my kid started driving he pretty much decided where he’d be.  Which was with my 90% of the time when he was in high school.  Now that he’s in college he stays where he likes on breaks but he’s been keeping it mostly 50/50.  But again, his choice.  Door is always open for him at either house and no one gets butthurt by whatever decision he makes.

Honestly OP a relationship with an adult child is so different than when they’re younger.  It’s amazingly fulfilling.  Sounds like you have a lot of resentment with how you were portrayed when your child was growing up but you have to keep in mind that they were a child, they didn’t have a say in how things went down.  And they didn’t have insight into the full story.  Don’t hold that against them.  [/quote]

Thanks, pp. I appreciate your POV.

I understand that they were just a kid, and possibly being manipulated by my ex. I don't want to hold it against them - but we just aren't on the same page, and it's been like that for too long. I'm just ready for a break, and 18 seems like a natural separation point.

I'm not saying that I don't want a relationship, or that I don't want to support them. I have funds set aside to help for college, etc. Yes, there would be some expectations/conditions attached, but as another pp suggested, I don't think that's a bad thing. They are going to be an adult within the year. The world in general comes with expectations. Me just blindly supporting them with no discussion about choices, consequences, return on investment, etc. doesn't seem to me like good parenting. I want to teach them to think through their options. I want to see them become a productive member of society.

But I have no interest in continuing to have the battles we are having at present for longer than necessary, and just think it would be best for all of us if we did not live under the same roof moving forward. [/quote]

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