Reply to Ok...let me rephrase this. How do I find the courage to leave my abusive DH?

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Reply to "Ok...let me rephrase this. How do I find the courage to leave my abusive DH?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]GO TO THERAPY. It will help you to mentally prepare to leave. If you can't afford it, let us know, and we will provide solutions. You will get through this, one step at a time.[/quote]

He'll know she is in therapy and see the reimbursement claims and this could only escalate things or be a point for gaslighting. I agree totally that therapy will be part of the process, but if you are being physically abused the first point should be to identify an exit plan to secure your physical security and that of your children. I have a zero tolerance policy for physical abuse, and yes, I have been in a relationship like that. I left the country, changed my phone number, and basically "disappeared." I didn't have kids though, and that's a huge factor. I agree with the posters saying to call a domestic violence hotline for advice and to start planning your escape. It may be that, an escape, and it may be somewhat dramatic, but there are many resources available. But get a "this is my 5 min escape with the kids into the back of a blacked out car at 3am escape" plan in place. Then be willing to execute on that, imminently. Have the finances in order, a secret fund if possible, and multiple resources lined up to help. You can get through this, but you're going to need some serious grit. Forget anything about your "wrongdoings." This is abuser talk. [/quote]

There is free therapy via Fairfax County Domestic Violence program, calling the hotline to get info on options if you are in a different country:

https://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/familyservices/domestic-sexual-violence[/quote]

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