Reply to Daughter was assaulted. Help me support her please.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Surprised by these responses and your DD’s reaction. No wonder bad guys keep getting away with sexual assaults. Hope your dd comes out of this without long term trauma.[/quote]

x1000  [b]I think too many people posting here have watched way too much bad tv and haven't worked with real victims like I and probably the PP have. [/b] What does the custodial parent say?  It is surprising the custodial parent is supporting the silence.

Keep talking to your daughter OP and strongly encourage her to report the crime against her.  Reporting the crime can actual bolster her confidence because she now becomes in charge of what happened instead of it being something that happened to her.  Did she keep the clothing she was in?  Did she take any pictures of bruises?  She also would benefit from talking to a licensed therapist, whether that be a LCSW or a psychologist, about her experiences.

You and she might want to read [i]The Gift of Fear[/i] by Gavin de Becker.  I bet both of you recognize many of the character traits of her boyfriend in the examples set forth in the book.  It could be very helpful and healing for your daughter to see that this assault was NOT her fault and that it WAS the fault of the perpetrator.[/quote]
A lot of us posting [b]are[/b] "real" (what does that mean?) victims and are sharing our personal experiences. Thanks for invalidating them, though. [/quote]

agree with survivor PP. other PP, I hope you don't work with many victims and really don't believe you do if you think pushing her to report something before she is ready is the best mode of action[/quote]

I absolutely do work with victims of sexual assault.  I would be derelict in my responsibilities if I and my coworkers did not counsel people to report the crime against them.  Furthermore we refuse to be complicit in the crime by being silent.

It is incredible to me that there are people here counseling OP to keep quiet.

In my 30+ years of experience of working with and volunteering with organizations that help women who have been assaulted, being silent and not reporting the crime is 100% wrong and only ends up with a woman who still years later has not been able to recover from her experience.  The [b][u]only[/u][/b] women I know who have been assaulted and who have "recovered" so to speak are those who have [u]directly[/u] addressed the crime and its ramifications.  I will never encourage a woman who has been assaulted to not report the assault.  That is a complete anathema to everything I stand for and have seen over the years.  OP should be supportive and kind and loving, as has been described here by many, but OP also should encourage the daughter to report the crime in addition to seeking out therapy.[/quote]

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