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[quote=Anonymous]I think if your daughters go to different schools, and private schools at that, there are really no milestones at risk of being un-shared. It would be one thing if they attended the same exact school and either had or didn't have the same winter concert or end of the year tradition, but at unrelated schools you won't share many school-related things like this even in the same grade.

They will, as close-in-age cousins, share things like back to school shopping at the same time, winter break at the same-ish time, learning to drive at the same time, and birthdays during the same month. That's more than enough to share. Too much for some.

Being a grade apart is probably better for girls who may be in competition at some point. And being on the older end of your grade is better socially and academically for most kids in the end. I wouldn't be surprised if your niece begins to outperform your daughter, or perform with more ease, later in her school years due to being more mature age-wise.

For what it's worth, I would definitely drop the "more academically rigorous" talk in Kindergarten. That is a road you do not want to be on at this age. I would also resist the urge to compare the girls in any way, shape, or form that feels remotely off limits: academics, social skills, looks, etc... That is a lose-lose situation and everyone is better off if you divert your attention away from assessing these things, and make an effort not focus on obvious discrepancies that arise. The girls themselves are especially better off.

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