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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Okay, but what happens if heaven forbid something happens to your wife and your kids have to come live with you and your new woman then what?

Or if your kid wants to live with you then what?[/quote]

OK, if she wants to be in my kids' life, great. My main points (which maybe I didn't explain well at the beginning) are that I don't want to add kids to my life and that I'm not trying to find someone to be their mommy, but if it developed in a way that they wanted to be involved, I'm fine with that. [/quote]

Another point on this (OP again): I feel like some women would think I'm looking for someone to come and take over the household, relieve me of parenting duties, and basically sub in for my ex wife. In fact, some of the posts on this thread seem to have taken even my original post that way (the selfish/take take take posts come to mind), even though I thought I was pretty clear that that's not what I was going for. I'm a self-sufficient parent, I grocery shop, I keep my house neat, I do my own laundry, I supervise homework, I register the kids for sports, etc. That's all I meant by not thinking of her as adopting a parental role. But really, if she wants to be like an aunt or a big sister or a stepmom - however she wants to be involved in their lives, that's good with me. The more good people in their life, the better for them. And ultimately it would make it easier to spend time with her, especially in the long term. [/quote]

Look, what it's called when you marry the parent of minor children and you're a woman is "stepmom." Not aunt or big sister (are you sure you're not looking for 25 year olds??). That's what she'd be, regardless of how self-sufficient you are. You're looking for a woman who, if your relationship is successful, would be the stepmother to your kids. There's nothing wrong with that.  But a woman who is in her 30s and cool with being stepmom is likely also going to want her own kids. Literally all you have to do to solve this is date women your own age. [/quote]

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