Reply to Losing minds with 4.5 y.o. potty training

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've had two boys older than OPs that have had accidents well into elementary school.  For one, I think it is a sign of ADHD and he doesn't think to go.  [b]For the other, I think its just an unpleasant experience (#2 takes a while and is stinky) that he puts off.[/b]  I've had to use different strategies for the both of them, none of which were particularly effective.  For the second child, I bribed him as one PP suggested, so that was informative that he could do it, he just didn't want to...
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OP, and this is also part of it for sure. Maybe that was the initial cause, [u]and we've now managed to turn it into an all out power struggle.[/u]

Also, feeling really guilty since I was mostly incapacitated for 4-5 mos this year (illness, then a couple months later broken leg). I wonder if I could have been more on top of it, we could have prevented getting to this point. He sometimes wanted me to wipe etc when I was recuperating, and it was really hard balancing on crutches to do it so I used to rely on DH a lot.[/quote]

Your entire problem right here.
Once its a power struggle it is no longer about the thing you are fighting about.
Go see a LCSW who specializes in this. Our school contracts with a LCSW who provides sessions for parents about a range of issues. The 2-3 year old class has had a potty training and challenging behaviors sessions. Her name is Claire Lerner and she has a website/blog. [url]https://www.lernerchilddevelopment.com/mainblog/2019/1/22/go-with-the-flow-preventing-the-perils-of-potty-training[/url]

You are at a point where you may need some outside assistance to remove the power struggle that is going on since he is going at school but not going at home. No judgement from here OP. Everyone has their struggles with their kid at one point or another and runs out of ideas. You many need an outside and neutral (professional) perspective. [/quote]

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