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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is there a name for a parent who is pathologically self-absorbed and it manifests in a lack of attention instead of the drama we normally associate with narcissism? Is that just self-absorbed asshole, or is that narcissism as well or something else?[/quote]

No, it's all different aspects of the same issue. Narcissistic mothers can be either/simultaneously women who do not respect boundaries, women who need mothering, women who withdraw attention/affection, women who are jealous of their daughters, women who are autocratic. It can be many things all under the same umbrella of narcissism.[/quote]

+1. Mine doesn’t manipulate or needle. She literally could not care less about my life. She wants to talk because she wants to tell me about her life. She sends regular texts with minute updates of her life. I used to think “oh she wants to talk and have an open and ongoing conversation with me, her adult child!” And then thanks to becoming a mom myself and lots of therapy I realized “nope she just wants to talk about herself to someone who will listen.”  She needs mothering and withdraws affection when she isn’t getting it. I only have logistical conversations with her now. Like “yes we can bring the kids to the park for a walk at 7.” I don’t think she even knows what I do for work, though she knows the name of the company. Christmas is especially triggering because it was always about her so I just said they can’t come Christmas Day even though they are local. Bless my husband for going along with this. We spend a lot of time with his family and I love them. [/quote]

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