Reply to Has anyone stayed with a spouse after they had an affair?

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[quote=Anonymous]^agree to the convincing you are ready to walk.

My spouse 100% believed I was divorcing him and he was terrified and almost suicidal.

Even 7 months out, he mentioned to therapist he’s not sure I will take him back.  He’s been working his @ss off to do anything and everything.  And not expecting anything from me for it.  He threw himself into individual therapy does all of the cooking and cleaning and laundry and carpooling and is doing everything to keep my plate clean because of how hurt and distraught I was and he feels guilty as hell for that.

Truth is, I really love him and we have a great marriage, sex life, kids and family.  I can’t imagine divorcing- but he doesn’t know that.  They need to hit rock bottom and face the consequences of what they did...so that it can never happen again.

If you forgive, rug sweep soon- they will take it as a “free pass”.   And, if it ever happened again...you can definitely walk immediately.  1 strike rule, no second chances.  But be tough now.  It’s unacceptable what he did.  You never have to forgive it even if you reconcile.  I will never forgive the actions.[/quote]

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