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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The point of staying with him is that the children get time with their parents and no stepfamily issues, and your combined income supports one household instead of two.  Whether that is better or worse from your perspective is up to you, but the reasons are very real.

You will have to do everything in your home if you divorce and he probably won't do any better with parenting admin tasks, btw, so it will be all on you either way.[/quote]

Just being realistic, I completely agree with this.  Unless you have 50-50 custody and the kids split their time between your houses, the burden will still fall to you.  From the way the message is written, it sounds like you still love him and are frustrated.  Things get easier when the kids are older, so you might want to try waiting for a while (years) and reevaluating.  But if I read you wrong, then it is time for an ultimatum.  We got to a pretty bad point a couple of years ago where I was thinking of separating, and my husband knew it and said that he wanted to try to work things out. I literally had to develop a schedule in writing for who is responsible for dinner what night, who drives which kid to sporting events, etc.  My husband really resisted but eventually agreed, and once he started doing more I think he realized how unfair the burden on me had been.  It sounds like your husband is not a bad person, even if he is lazy and selfish in my experience many men are, so something like this might work for you if you are at the point where you will lay it down and not pick up any slack -- for example, if it is your husband's turn to take care of dinner, and he doesn't, don't step in -- if he has to order pizza or do fast food at 8 pm, stay out of it.  Definitely stop waking him up.  I would stop doing his laundry too :).  good luck, and remember that you are not the only one who has had to deal with something similar (at least, that helps me)![/quote]

My kid lives with me full time, so of course all the burden falls on me- but it is SO MUCH BETTER AND EASIER than taking care of a grown man...and no resentment!  And just like OP, I too had to wake up my ex.[/quote]

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