Reply to S/O maximum number of kids to ensure dual working couple

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We're stopping after 2 with no family help but lots of other help, and flexible schedules so we get "face time" in. [/quote]

This was me.  I also advise to never plan on having family members help.  Parents burn out, parents die, friends move away—all this happened to me in the lead up to having kids.  We were a solo operation but we knew that from day one.  I’m really glad we didn’t revolve any decisions around help from family members.  I also advise serious outsourcing of every possible household chore.  [/quote]

This is us. We get zero help from family, which is fine because we weren't planning on it, so we have a full-time nanny even though our kids are in school now and her role has morphed over time to more of a house manager role while they're in school. We also have a maid and a gardener and we outsource basically everything we can. As a result, we work from 7:30-4 while our kids are in school (thankfully they're back to in-person, although I suppose there's no telling how long that will last) and then we stop working either at 4 and do homework with them or at 5 and the nanny does homework with them and then we make dinner together and spend the evenings together. We also have an hour in the mornings getting ready and eating breakfast. And then we have the entirety of the weekends because we've outsourced all the errands that we used to do pre-kids. Well, not all the errands, but most of them.

So, OP, we wanted two kids because that seemed like a good number for us to handle, and it works great for us. I have tons of friends with dual career spouses like you (we're lawyer/engineer, my friends are lawyer/lawyer, lawyer/doctor, doctor/doctor, etc.), and they have anywhere from 1-4. Again, for us, two was a good number. I would highly suggest you learn to outsource once you have kids. It obviously isn't cheap, but since you can afford it, it buys you time, which is the most valuable thing of all.[/quote]

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