Reply to Ellen Page announced new identity as Elliott Page

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So is his spouse now ungay?[/quote]

that's my question. The spouse was a lesbian, but is now married to a man? [/quote]

They are queer. [/quote]

What does queer mean anyways? I never understood that term. Gay and lesbian and bi make sense but what is queer?[/quote]

Basically it's an umbrella term: Queerness encompasses an intersection of identities. The term queer indicates an “individual who self-identifies as either Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer (also sometimes called “questioning”), intersex, and or asexual, aka the LGBTQIA+ community.[/quote]

Thank you for answering this question. I am sure the PPs appreciate it and I do too. These issues can be difficult for those of us of a certain age who want to be kind, respectful, and inclusive to wrap our minds around. Consequently, people ask questions which can be interpreted as rude or disrespectful. Generally people who ask questions aren't trying to ridicule. They just want to understand.

Nonetheless, the prevailing attitude of many "activists" is to respond: "it's not my job to educate you. Figure it out." It is so unproductive. I mean it's not like you can google "what category do you fall in if you are a lesbian who got married to a woman who is now a man?"  It isn't easy to understand. Maybe the answer is that you don't categorize, but often the category is important if you want to understand and offer respect. The opposite of love is indifference. Interest demonstrates caring.[/quote]

Actually, you can Google it. Even very niche topics have been discussed to death and written about extensively on the internet. It’s easy to find and spend your own time getting the information that already exists instead of demanding that someone take the time to tell you. Someone who genuinely seeks to understand will do that instead of dropping in to derail a discussion saying “What does queer mean anyway?”[/quote]

Not all nuances are explained with google.

If I were straight and then my H came out as trans, and I don't want to be with a woman I might not want to remain married.

I think the original question was asked in a rude way, but the partner can not be ignored. [/quote]

Nobody's trying to ignore the partner. My point is if you want to find out how partners feel about it when their spouse comes out as trans, Google it. You can find articles, forum discussions, advice columns. There's an entire subreddit dedicated to people whose partner's have come out of trans and what that experience is like. It's all there for you to find if you take a tiny bit of initiative.[/quote]

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