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[quote=Anonymous]OP, does your DH's family have a history of divorce or children born to single family members?

I ask because my DH's family is one of divorce and my MIL has made similar comments and others much more aggressive and hurtful to my children about me, and it started with holidays.

My parents invite my ILs over for holidays. FIL is happy to attend but MIL will not attend with him present. She resents my parents for including him. He is in poor health and not in a condition to host a holiday gathering. He also does not have other family to spend holidays with.

My BIL and his family do holidays with my MIL and DH and I do holidays with my parents and FIL. (I am not aware of how my SILs parents are involved in this, but I do know that they occasionally attend holidays at MIL's house and BIL visits them on non-holidays. They are married and try to be flexible.)

We would be happy to host MIL, but she has made it clear that we attend on her turf or we do not see her on holidays.

Geography is an issue (MIL is on the west coast and FIL is two hours away from us), but these problems would still be present even if we were in proximity.

I have learned to let go, do the best I can to be inclusive, but be respectful of the fact that MIL has her own limits and it is not fair of me to expect her to be more flexible than she is. The result is that we see very little of her.[/quote]

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