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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm a DW of 20+ year good marriage with two teenagers.

I had never wanted kids, and had worked for years to develop my dream career, which was also taking off, so I was pretty doubled-down on my position.  The job involved lots of travel so it was also impracticable.

I was madly in love with my BF (now DH).

My BF always wanted kids.

He said, he always wanted kids, and he would only marry someone who wanted kids.

I really had to think about this.

Finally, I said, "FINE.  But just ONE.  And that kid is going to be in daycare; I'm not giving up my career..."

Anyways he proposed, we got married, we got pregnant, and then I started reading up on stuff that basically made me realize that I couldn't really continue my traveling career with an infant, and how important bonding was, and breastfeeding was, etc.  And I realized that I didn't want to straddle my highly demanding career and also try and raise a little human, and I also didn't want to outsource to a nanny.

So I ended up being a SAHM.  Which I know is an anathema to many DCUMers, and I'm not saying it's the right solution for all, but it was the right solution for me.  And because it's anonymous, I will also say that I think I'm a really good mom.

So to your point, just lay out your boundary.  It's her choice.  If she knows she needs to choose between being with you and being childless, and she really needs to contemplate that, then she will do the required mental work involved and come to a decision, one way or another.

You need a time limit on these things, or you'll wait 20 years.  Give her a reasonable time limit, maybe 3 or 6 months, to think and decide.

And she will decide, and you will either marry or move on.

(And if you marry, when your kid is a teenager and giving you both total smack, expect your DW to privately say to you, "Why did we do this??? This wasn't my idea!!") many times...[/quote]

Just wtf?  Is this supposed to be a cute little story?    She doesn't want a kid. She's 32.  Why is it so hard for you to accep that some women do actually know their own mind and don't capitulate to the whims of men.[/quote]

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