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[quote=Anonymous]My MIL is more passive-aggressive than aggressive so it's hard to put a story into this competition. Her specialty is to say "oh, I don't give unsolicited advice, I don't to interfere" but then she does. She doesn't do this to me so much as to my husband and it drives him insane. My two year old was eating with a spoon and fork, which he has been doing for months now, and she made this huge deal, grabbed the fork off of him and was like "let's not give him these things, okay?" It drives my husband nuts. I mean, okay, I guess she thought maybe he'd ram the fork into the back of his throat or something (??) but the whole "let's not" like it's her kid and the tone of the correction is ridiculous. She doesn't do that with me because I think she knows better :) but she does do this after-the-fact passive aggressive thing. I was a pretty modest person when nursing in public, used a "hooter hider" and everything. (Not that I think other people have to!). But one day my son was particularly distractable so I went to the car to nurse him. MIL later on says "oh, I'm SO glad you've started nursing him in private. I didn't want to say anything, but people were giving you funny glances and I didn't want you to notice and be embarrassed!" Once she saw a picture of my husband giving my son a bottle. It was pumped breast milk but she assumed it was formula and was like "oh, I am SO relieved to see you are using formula, this way you no how much DS is getting and it is just SO much easier on you. You'll wonder why you ever bothered breastfeeding!" When my husband said "it's breastmilk" she was like "Oh no, I would have never said any of that, you know I don't like to give advice, but you know formula will help him sleep through the night, right?"  :roll:

(BTW, not that I hate formula, but c'mon. We'd made our decision and were very happy with nursing).

When my first was a newborn, they insisted on staying at a hotel but wouldn't rent a car or borrow ours, so my husband had to drive them to and from the hotel every day for 8 days. For our first, we were SUPER cautious and, although our pediatrician gave us the green light to go to open air places (autumn baby) like outdoor restaurants provided baby was either in a stroller covered or in a sling, we were a bit nervous. When baby was like 5 weeks old, the in-laws were visiting and we decided to go out for lunch. MIL was completely into the idea and was looking at menus and everything. No mention of any worry about taking DS out. At the last minute, my husband got nervous and we decided not to go, and my MIL was all "Whew. I thought I was going to have to say something. You just can't take a baby anywhere you want - if he would have caught something (my name) would have blamed herself. Of course, as new parents, you just don't think of those things."

The funny thing is, up until I had children I got along pretty well with my MIL. She's way different from me but I loved (and still do love) her. But there was just this insane period of time where her passive aggressive stuff drove me up one wall and down another. In my view, it's harder to deal with the passive aggressive second guessing than something more overt. Because my husband is all "Oh, I know it's annoying but she's just trying to help - she obviously is trying hard not to say something." And I'm like, oh yeah, she's trying really hard all right!

But in the grand scheme of things, I can deal. I'm not really easily bullied, though. If I were, I think she would make me absolutely miserable. As it is, I just focus on how much she LOVES my children, her grandchildren, and stock up on wine when they visit. (And I'm not a drinker!) :) [/quote]

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