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[quote=Anonymous]We have one 8 yo.

Pros:

-I think the main one for me, as a parent with both ADHD and anxiety, is that there are just fewer moving parts for me to juggle or make decisions based on. One palate. One set of new clothes in ~one size. One teacher. One developmental stage at a time (I guess you get that with twins). One kid to take to one set of activities (okay, we don't do a lot of that). But you know what I mean. I have pretty bad executive dysfunction and I think I'm doing a B+ job of managing/parenting my kid, but only with all-out effort and tons of love on my part. And an outstanding partner!! But for me, I felt like I knew *my* limit. I get overwhelmed relatively easily unless I put in a ton of effort. I'm sure I'd adapt if I ended up with another, but I don't know how, or how pretty it would be.

-I did really shockingly (to me!) well with an infant and toddler and preschooler, but I did find those stages really really hard and find it much easier every year on average after about 3. Don't really have any desire to go, what feels to me, backwards. I think you're in the thick of it, OP. Pandemic or no, it will get easier IMO... at least for a while.

-I don't think of it as affording me luxuries (trips, private school-- she goes to public), as we're live &lt;1 mile from DC ($$$) and probably below the DCUM average HHI ($100k). But I think... we'd have to scrimp and save a lot more if we had more than one kid. If one of us lost our job, we would be okay for at least a few months. So having just one kid it affords breathing room.

Cons:

-With my anxiety, in some ways it's problematic that I have all my eggs in the one kid basket, so to speak. Although I believe nature trumps nurture, I don't have past experience with another/different child to guide and temper my concerns-- I don't have that example right there telling me there's only so much I can do as a parent. I do know that intellectually, but that acceptance doesn't come as naturally. I don't think this is a net negative, because with two+ kids, I'd find almost twice+ to worry about, but it is a &quot;con.&quot;

-My kid is quite extroverted and the pandemic has definitely been more challenging in some ways as she's gotten less socialization with other kids than most kids w/siblings. So there's a fair bit of pressure on me and DH to do *something* with her, even though, at her age, she's also quite able to entertain herself-- and of course we don't drop everything at her beck and call! But she does crave interaction. If she had a sibling, maybe they'd bicker all the time-- there's only so much of that you can control as a parent (see above). But more likely, given her personality, at least, I'd get at least a significant amount of additional time not to worry about her wanting to engage with me/DH. I think they'd spend a decent amount of time playing reasonably well together. Again, not sure this is a net negative, because I'd also have to handle challenging sibling dynamics/etc. even with a very good sibling dynamic. But I do think another kid would-- at certain ages-- provide me and DH a little more of a break.

Hope that helps, OP! I was an only until I was 10, and now reasonably close to my brother (same parents!) DH is one of four and not very close to his siblings at all. So you never know about future dynamics, and I think should not place bets on that.[/quote]

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