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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Asian here. I do not see much contempt for hard work. Never experienced that.

I am very familiar with Carol Dweck's work. I agree with her completely.

But there is also a range. I see families who have coached the hell out of their kids. Worksheets upon worksheets of stuff. Their kids recite facts on World capitals, flags, spellings, simple math questions, science related facts, etc. It just rolls of their tongue.

It also killed their individuality, they lose a certain spark that I have a hard time describing.

Their raw intelligence has been stunted I think as a result of too much structured activity. Their personality decimated. The already introvert tendency in them amplified as free time, time with friends was de-emphasized.

I realized this as by accident we had to live away from fellow Asians for many years after my child was born. I was so grateful for the fact that I did not fall into this cycle.

[/quote]

What you're talking about (in terms of losing that spark) is burnout. Burnout is a well-recognized condition in athletics, academics and professional life. But to somehow suggest, as you seem to be doing, that all Asian kids are burned out, or that you were somehow protected from this because you stayed away from them is nonsense, and smacks of self-hate.[/quote]

I am not generalizing about all Asians. What I am talking about is the tendency to overschedule a child from a young age. It starts with Kumon. The repetitive sheets upon sheets of math, dulls and kills any interest the kids have in that subject.

Repetition is important in math. In FCPS and in many families in USA that is under emphasized. From what I have seen with many of my friends, the repetition is carried to such an extent that the kids begin to hate math.

For my own child, I started with mental math. DC really enjoys math, it is his favorite subject and for the last 4 years, almost always ends up as the best performing student in math from the school in various competitions. When we go for a long hike, DC would ask for a complicated math problem that can be performed mentally. Really enjoys it.

If we had been in NOVA, I am guessing but I might have done Kumon and other such things. At least from the group of friends that I know, all their kids do well in math, but none has a real interest in it. Very little curiosity in most of them on the subject.

There are plenty of Asians who have an interest in math and do very well. No doubt. I dont know how they approached it, but doubt they overdid the kumon worksheets.

I have seen many science competitions and my kid participated in one event where DC worked with kids from another school, predominantly Asian. The team is composed entirely of Asian kids. When I saw how the whole event was being done, I was horrified. It is an event where my kid is super interested in, DC did many of those things right from 5 years of age. DC would do many of these without any help from me. In the event, not one kid had any interest in the activity, all are actively being pushed to participate. They are just not into that kind of thing. One kid has a state rank on another different activity. These kids are very good, they are not dumb. But parents are pushing them to do an activity that they have no interest in.

That is what I am more worried about. Killing children's interest by making them do activities they are not really interested in. Not all Asians. But I see this often enough.

The article above shows what rich White people do in athletics. Replace Lacrosse, Fencing, etc with Piano, Spelling Bee, etc and you see the Asian equivalent.

We Asians do a lot of things right in terms of education. But we overdo somethings too. Like focussing on TJ as a prize that hard working children's should aspire to. Who do you think put such a thought into their head? Not directly, but via how they talk and actions.

My DC would rather do Science Olympiad, all 23 events by self. So I do know what kids with passion in STEM look like. [/quote]

This is spot on. I teach math as a hobby and I absolutely agree with you about kids likely getting pushed too much by parents, in this area. I see lots of kids who can handle advanced math with problem solving, but are just not very interested. They will not ask questions, and only do enough of the homework to pass, but if I give them anything optional to think about (however interesting it may be), almost no-one will attempt it. I think this illustrates the danger in parents leading their kids through a linear progression of baby steps because they worry that they have to keep up. Especially if they are not giving them enough free time to socialize and discover their own interests. 20 years back, it felt that there was a higher sense of curiosity and wonder in kids in school. It's hard to describe what I mean. Even if kids were not as "prepared" as today, they were more willing to figure things out, and ask questions to get oriented. Nowadays the school environment definitely feels more "sterile" in terms of learning, too many facts being presented and not enough games and activities that stimulate critical thinking.[/quote]

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