Reply to Almost 93, frail, very poor hearing ..will not move

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If she has the money to sustain this, it’s not yours to weigh in on.[/quote]

Even so, she can't call  and arrange  for food,  house and garden maintenance,  dr appts, etc. She can't hear on the phone at all.  She can't order supplies from Amazon because she can't use a computer..and can't bring the stuff in the house.  She can't arrange for medications. She cannot clean or cook.  So, it isn't my problem? Really? [/quote]

Can she pay people to do those things? If so, then yes, it’s not yours to do.[/quote]

No, again.....  She cannot arrange to do any of those things, nor will she allow anyone outside to do it. 
What is it about this post that you do not understand?[/quote]

Np- personally , what I don’t understand, is why you’re continuing to enable her to such a huge extent if you are clearly unhappy with it. “Mom, arranging your groceries, cleaning, cooking, bathing, lawn care, etc is a full time job that I can no longer do. I’ll hire someone to do it all for you, but i can’t do it all anymore.” Or just continually kick the ball down the road. “I can’t come cook for you this afternoon. Get take out and I’ll see you tomorrow. Oh you don’t know how to order take out? I call bull shit since you just called me to complain about needing me to cook you dinner.”[/quote]

She says her mom can't hear on the phone. She's probably able to talk on the phone but a take out order might be beyond her.

OP, what if something happened to you--an emergency hospitalization and (for whatever reason) other people weren't aware of the responsibilities for your mom? Is it possible that if you brought that possibility up to her she might agree to a change? Fact is she is unable to independently care for herself. 
[/quote]

Yes, Captain Obvious...and all of you Captains (!) Yes. I know all this. Does KNOWING it change anything? No. You cannot force her to move.  No, social services cannot do it. Yes, we stopped enabling and so she just didn't eat.  Trash didn't go out, clothes were not laundered.

Here's the thing...if SS did get involved, where do you suppose the blame would  go? Yes, us. [/quote]

PP, I'm in a similar situation with my folks cross-country, but I'm lucky enough to have my sister there. She's burning out and I fully get it! My mother has now gotten them into a ton of debt and run the account down. I have a perfect solution that would make them solvent again, living on their own Social Security, in a comfortable home they are familiar with, etc. They won't move. My sister is PISSED off and guess who other family members are blaming? Me and my sister! Because we are trying to force them out of an unsafe situation they can't afford.

SCREW all these people with their criticism of you. I'm pissed off too. And we have every right to be pissed.[/quote]

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