Reply to Here's the thing I don't understand about husbands who don't help out

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honestly, OP, you sound like his Mother.  Your way of teaching your DH to clean the bathroom is how I teach my sons.  My DH knows how to clean a bathroom better than I do by learning from his Mother.  If your DH is not cleaning the bathroom to your standards, then you should be the one with that chore, or you should learn to accept the way he does it.  I mean, you can tell him you don't think it's clean enough, and if he wants you to teach him, then go for it, but don't think it helps any relationship to treat your partner like a child.[/quote]

This, although I think some couples really revel in this dynamic.  Usually it's the woman who looooves to call the husband out on his crap, and he enjoys being called out.  I'd rather not be married at all than interact my with my spouse like he's my child.  I *loathe* the "busting his/her chops" dynamic with the heat of a thousand suns.

So, yeah, OP.  What you don't understand is that couples are different.[/quote]

Not OP but of the same mind. It isn't about being a mother its about not accepting being constantly disappointed. I generally try to let my husband decide on his own if something isn't good enough, and I guess I wouldn't send him back to the store or something, but if he just kept doing something wrong we would be talking about it.

I think the key is to not get hyped about stupid things. My husband does ALL the laundry. I do not complain AT ALL about a towel being folded some way (I don't pay attention to this but I know some women who are crazy about the way towels and sheets are folded) or if he misses a load one week or something. It's his chore, if he lets it build up its his problem. But I handle all the dishes and I do get on him about hording all the small spoons on his desk because that impacts everyone who uses spoons and my chores.

And he would MUCH rather me say something in the moment (and he says things in the moment like, you need to make sure your clothes aren't all inside out when you put them in the basket) then simmer in resentment for hours/days/months/years.

I think its telling a lot of people see open communication as 'mothering'[/quote]

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