Reply to Wondering about a second kid ... very conflicted

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Personally I think it's a myth that you need to be 100% sure about having kids.  I say this as someone who was not 100% about the first or the second, and I am thrilled about both decisions.

However, I did base my decision on the following:

-- I have a DH who is a full partner
-- We have the financial resources
-- I'm not someone who wallows in regret. I make a decision and I make the best of it.

Don't even think about sibling relationships, or having "an heir and a spare" as others on DCUM will say.

There is no wrong decision.[/quote]

OP here. Thanks for this. DH is definitely a full partner and we have the resources to do it, just not with the flexibility regarding schooling, vacations, and savings that we’d like. It’s not that we can’t afford two kids; [b]it’s that we can’t afford two kids (money, time, and energy wise) in the way we would want to do it.[/b][/quote]

This is the exact reason we only have two. We are able to live exactly how we want and give our kids exactly what we want. We are very fortunate to be in that position, but we wouldn't be able to do it with more. Some people value having kids more than the value the flexibility regarding schooling, vacations, and savings. Some people are the opposite. No opinion is right or wrong - they are just the way different people view things. So if you value those things highly, don't be afraid to prioritize them. I have several friends who have one child for many of those reasons and they are so happy. For what it's worth, my husband and I are both from families with two kids, but he is not at all close to his sister and my brother was a lot younger than me so we weren't very close either. We decided we would try for one and see what happened. I got pregnant with twins, so we ended up with two. We're happy with them and have now structured our lives around having two kids, but would have discussed whether we wanted a second after having one.[/quote]

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