Reply to s/o: sexless marriages, did you know this happens often?

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Reply to "s/o: sexless marriages, did you know this happens often?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I got married a virgin. I think this must be something that happens to women who sleep around. My husband is the only guy I've ever wanted and he still is. More than 10 years married and multiple kids including one with special needs and we've never gone more than a week without except postpartum.[/quote]

I think you may be on to something.  But I think it works better if both are virgins.  DH and I both were virgins on our wedding night.  After we were married sex became an every day thing in some form or other.  We could not get enough of it.  The only time we have abstained were due to travel or health or pregnancy/post partum.  I think both of us are still making up for the culturally forced celibacy and deprivation of our pre-marital years.

Also, we have nothing real to compare each other with.  We have learned everything about sex together and with only each other.  I also feel that we are open to sex in a guileless way with each other since we only had each other and no baggage.  I am figuring this out after reading this forum.  For example, DH is very persuasive, adventurous and patient.  Even if I am not in the mood he will make sure that he gets me into mood through prolonged foreplay.   If he would have had previous sexual partners I am sure he would have been more self-conscious about trying to change my mind or my preference. Denial of sex was never a  part of our marital calculus and for some reason  fights never bled into the bedroom.  He would just resolve things before we went to bed because maybe he wanted sex to happen? I don't know. He is pretty easy going outside of bedroom and let's me have my way. In the bedroom he is the one who is dominating and adventurous.  He also makes sure that I enjoy sex and I think this is remarkable because his sole subject of sexual experimentation has been me (and maybe porn?).   I am average in looks and body shape and if he was with other women he would probably not found my body attractive after childbirth, weight gain and aging.  He has really never commented negatively about it. In fact he has been turned on by body features that women pay thousands to correct through plastic surgery. [/quote]
Pp. My husband was a virgin too. Our dynamic has been similar to yours. 
The only difference is we don't do porn (I've asked him not to but I'll do anything he wants between us at least once). [/quote]

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