Reply to Sibling Has Sadly Low Expectations for Nephew

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Protect your own kid. He can't draw boundaries for himself so it's your job to. The last thing in the world you want to teach him is that it's acceptable for others to abuse him or that he, too, can get what he wants by being abusive. ESPECIALLY since your child is 6 years younger.

I wouldn't assume that they are working with a therapist. I worked in behavior science for a long time (actual science, so reading lots of papers, not just taking a few classes and getting a cert) and there's now a TON of evidence against the whole "ignore it" thing. Also, a good therapist would recognize that the parents need to NOT put their child in situations where he won't be successful. A good intervention program includes tons of environmental adjustments, not just throwing the kid in a bunch of situations and praising them.

I know someone will come on here and tell me I'm wrong because their therapist said XYZ and it worked for their kid, but there's a lot of BS that gets passed around the field. Anyone who distills it down to ignore bad/praise good has no idea what they're doing. That may work for some children but won't for many.

I also don't know ANY therapists who would recommend putting another, smaller, younger child in an abusive situation just so the patient can get "practice".

Either way, bottom line: protect your own child.

[/quote]

I’m sure what you’re saying is factually accurate and good advice-for the parents of the child. OP is the aunt and they aren’t asking for her advice here.

The best thing OP could do is look out for her own kids, and with whatever time/energy she has left, listen to her sibling, and love whatever she can about her nephew.[/quote]

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