Reply to Are single people in their thirties really the “undesirables”?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What are strange question for a board that is dc focused. Almost all of my girlfriends including myself married either close to thirty or by mid-thirties. We are all lawyers with two doctors, a PhD, and a banker thrown in so lots of graduate school. For myself i was in many serious relationships but unready to marry And focused on getting my footing in my career. This was the case until I met DH at 30. We dated for 2 years, he proposed then we planned our wedding etc for another year before we married. [/quote]

This right here. The people I knew who married in early-to-mid 20s were very religious, small town world outlook, believed marriage was a badge of adulthood, had the mentality in the first place that you need to meet your spouse in college, and also ... let's just say ... needed to lock in the first taker they found.

On the other hand, plenty of people I knew who waited until their 30s to settle down did so precisely because they had the looks and career to "wait" -- they enjoyed dating around in college and their 20s as much as possible, traveling, hooking up, etc., and knew they'd get snapped up fast in their early 30s when they were ready to tie the knot, and that's exactly what happened. Rather than being the ones who were running out of time, there is absolutely a group who can afford to have adventures and put off marriage until 30s because they are an attractive commodity. [/quote]

You're projecting. Chastising happy and balanced peers who married young, then glorifying pissing your 20s and 30s away on consumerism, an extra promotion, brunches, and gross random hookups. Being a young bride and mother is the ideal, being the neurotic 35-yo IVF bride with a balding husband sure isn't.[/quote]

Actually there's a ton of data that shows marrying young leads to more unhappiness and a higher divorce rate.

I live in a city where it's normal to get married 18-25 and every woman I know who married that young is miserable. They weren't old and experienced enough to figure out what they wanted in a partner, and many ended up with deadbeat husbands. Now they're struggling to start a career while raising children with little help from dad.

I'm not totally sure why you equate being single in your 20s with consumerism and brunches. We do more brunches now as a family than I ever did single. And if you think consumerism is bad among 20-year-olds, it's a million times worse among parents. All those toys....

The extra time spent working in my 20s ensured I could land a job with flexibility after kids arrived. All my friends who had children in their early 20s are stressed out trying to do school, start a career, and pay a mortgage (if they're even lucky enough to have mortgage - most are just pissing money away on rent).

My hookups were never gross, mostly were pretty darn hot ☺️ Gives me something to fantasize about when I need to spice things up!

And I've never known any neurotic 35 year old IVF brides. The only neurotic one I knew was my sister, who desperately wanted to have kids young and freaked a lot of guys out.

Everyone should do what is best for them without feeling pressured. For many people, delaying marriage is the right choice. If you marry young and loved it, great, but not everyone needs to make the same choice as you.[/quote]

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