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[quote=Anonymous]Hi OP - a year and a half ago, I could've written your post! Now, I have a 5 year old and a 4 month old. A few thoughts -
- The age gap has made this period much easier compared to close in age, judging from my experience compared to what I've watched friends go through. Like you, all of my social circle (I swear, ALL of it) had kids 2-3 years apart, and we just were not ready. My first was a really tough baby, and i HATED being pregnant, so the thought of doing all that again was awful. I think the age gap making it easier is especially telling given that I had the 5 yo home with me thanks to COVID... as someone who has never once desired to be a SAHM, I survived a summer with a newborn and an almost-5 yo! It wasn't awful!
- No one particular thing pushed us over the edge to make the decision. I just couldn't give up the idea that our family wasn't complete. It's probably because everyone I know has 2, so I internalized that norm. Who knows. 
- If there had been a pandemic on when we were making the decision, kid #2 would not exist. No doubt about it. He just made the cutoff into existence. Childcare is just too uncertain now, and it's been really hard trying to figure out what to do with the two kids with limited options, now that the older is in virtual kindergarten and the younger obviously needs full time care. We are spending way more money on nannies than I expected to spend on childcare this year.[/quote]

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