Reply to WWYD: Husband won't let me work part-time

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[quote=Anonymous]Sit down on a day when no one is stressed and talk about the upcoming week.   Put all of the to-dos on the table and who is point on what.

Getting the kids flu shots
Filing dental claims
Attending the parent teacher conference
Planning the birthday party
Figuring out what will you do for Halloween - and executing 
Taking car for car wash and oil change …..

There are some work weeks that are easier for me and I can take point for certain thigs.   There are emergencies - my DH had a team member who took emergency disability and the plan went off the rails.

The thing is - you need to do this every week.   No exceptions.   You need to do it at a point when there is low stress so there is no pointing fingers.   And reflecting on how the previous week went.

After a few weeks you will either have made progress or not.   If not, you have the process in place to discuss changes.   You have the master to dos / calendar.   When you take something that was assigned to him, write it on the master sheet so that there is a history.

Also for distance learning - you can divide out the work.   I am point for 2 kids, my husband is for 1 is an example.   Another example - you can take certain subjects or during the day / homework.   It does not need to be all or nothing.

Start practicing  with the kids as well.   It is a joke in our house that my kids will walk past my husband who is sitting reading a book to ask me a question while I am on a call.   In the evening we might collectively share the next days plan.    I have an early morning commitment - so Dad is point on breakfast.

Good luck.   I struggle with this every day - but have changed my mindset and that has helped a lot.  [and my husband has kicked in a lot more]  He does the dishes every night as well as cooks dinner a few nights a week and finally - he folds the laundry as he did not like how I was doing his t shirts[/quote]

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