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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH generally prefers to keep things equal in our relationship.  He wanted me to have my own career.
He didn't want to be 100% responsible for the household income; he preferred to share that burden.
He wanted to be able to "daddy-track" as much as I could "mommy-track"; being the sole earner wouldn't let him do that.
He wanted to be present for field trips and PTA meetings and sick days and snow days just as much as me. 
He didn't want me to feel reliant on him for spending money. 
He saw what happened to widows or divorcees in his family, and wanted to make sure we could each support ourselves independently.
I love my career, and he didn't want me to lose that.

It's worked well so far.  He does at least "his share" of household chores and kid stuff, if not more.  We're muddling through COVID, but have discussed that if distance learning gets the best of us, he'll take a sabbatical for a year to stay home with them and I'll keep working.  Our incomes are about the same, so that's not an issue.[/quote]

Why can't many of those things happen and you stay home, if you choose to?  My husband does the majority of the field trips, goes to the majority of school events, shagging of the kids to sports and everything you described and still works full time.  If one or both of us is sick, he'll stay home.  He's canceled business trips because I was sick.  He does everything but the PTA, which I do.  He refuses but not because of time but drama.

He has no issue what I spend or don't spend.  If anything he complains i don't spend enough on myself.  Its not a big deal to me as I know I can do what every I want money wise and don't need to consult him.  If I do, he encourages me to spend more.  Its family money.  Not his, not mine.

If you love your career, it makes sense to work.  I didn't love my career and with child care, I didn't earn enough to make it work staying or going back.  He wanted me happy.   He 100% left it my choice but gave me the choice as he's the one who suggested it.[/quote]

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