Reply to When you're a MIL, what will your DIL think of you?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I will do my best to get her to like me.  At least in the most superficial of ways.  I'll realize you can't force deeper connection, but also that she can always trust me.  Even if I don't think she's perfect, I'll welcome her into the family and do what I can to not just add her to our family, but to really make her feel welcome.  Ex: my mother always stocks the married-in-kid's favorite snacks and drinks of choice before they visit.  She takes note when she's with them in their own homes of what they like (type of beer, favorite chip or cookie) and then makes sure she has it when they come over.  She also asks them questions about their childhood and in genuinely interested in the answer and then remembers.

I'll also do my best to stay self-deprecating about our familial quirks and not get offended because she does things differently.  I won't judge her relationship with her own mother.

And if I mess up, I'll apologize.  I've never once heard my MIL say she's sorry for throwing a huge temper tantrum in the middle of Christmas day or Easter or Thanksgiving.  If I ever have some sort of holiday induced meltdown, I will personally apologize to the poor inlaws who have to witness it.[/quote]

I love this answer!!! I’ll do the same. Also, I’ll try to give DIL money (just nice checks for Christmas, birthday, anniversary, etc.). I will also try to make it financially easy for my kids to visit-cover costs for them to be in a hotel if they want, buy plane tickets. If they are willing, I’ll offer to pay for a nice family vacation every year (or Two or three or five-whatever we can get!) to the carribbean or something (depending on what DIL/son are interested in).

This has been an annoyance with my own family.  They always want to demand we show up to all these different things or go on joint vacations, but they never help facilitate despite having a lot of money and much less responsibility than we have.[/quote]

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