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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No.  My elderly parents are infuriating to me because they will be unnecessarily frugal to pass on things and money to us.  They will not ask for help and they want to leave everything to us.  [/quote]

This is how mine started out. Then, emergencies started happening and I was getting calls to come over. Then gradually I was helping more. At first they were very appreciative as the years wore on they were entitled to it because they were saving to leave us money. Then i became a horrible bitch (mom's words) for insisting they spend their money on getting the best care for themselves and would need to do much less. I was horribly ungrateful mind you even though i was the only sibling to do anything and all they cared about was preserving the money. Fast forward even more years and there is endless talk of changing the will and how I may get nothing and I give the endless response of...do what you wish with your money. Money has been gifted to siblings who did nothing who are apparently wonderful and the scapegoating does not cease.

It is really amazing to me how disturbed people can be with money. Whether you abuse it by spending it all and expecting your kids to pay for everything for your care or you abuse it by dangling it as some carrot and reminding the person over and over you are taking it away. Because I told my mother she can do what she wants with her money I am told clearly i don't care enough about money so she should not leave me much. If I did get upset she was doing unfair distribution she would say all I cared about was her money and that is why I visit. I visit because I am trying to do the right thing...sorry clearly I just rambled and made this all about me. Maybe I am the narcissist. [/quote]

You’re not. You’re just trying to make sense of something that doesn’t make sense. It’s called spiraling. You’re the scapegoat...and it’s wrong. Totally unfair. Try to make peace with the fact you’ll never understand your parents behavior.[/quote]

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