Reply to Changing the name of an internationally adoped child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Guys, chill out.[b] Maybe having to change names was a minor trauma for this child, but it's NOTHING compare to what she would have endured had she remained an orphan in Russia. In the long run, it's all for the better[/b].[/quote]

[b]Maybe yes.  Maybe no. [/b] Especially in the case of older children, adoptive parents are not adequately prepared to deal with the many issues a lot of these kids have (not the kids' fault at all, obviously) and the kids experience a lot of trauma.  Again, the perspectives of adult adoptees on these questions is often eye-opening.[/quote]

You're kidding right?  That a name change is far worse than growing up in an orphanage where he likelihood of becoming a successful adult is in the small percentage numbers.

Kudos for this family for taking on the risk of adopting an older child from a Russian orphanage.  The risk of RAD, sensory issues, fetal alcohol spectrum disorder, ADHD, etc.  Yet, so many are criticizing for changing the name, saying that she will become Americanized and saying that within a few months people won't even know she is Russian.

I have adopted multiple times internationally, including older kids.  There is absolutely no consensus one way or another on the issue of changing names.  Even talking to adult adoptees will give you only anecdotal information about how that particular person feels, not how it affects adoptees as a whole.  As far as Americanizing her, well, seems to me the last time I adopted, one of the seminars I was required to take as a requirement of the Hague Convention rules was on reaculturalization.  That's the same as Americanizing given that the reaculturalization is in America.  It happens.  It's a fact of life because their life will be in America.  Americanization does not mean that the original culture is lost or rejected.  Finally, as far as not knowing she is Russian, that is a fact of life and personally I don't see it as a bad thing.  Once she is not readily identifiable as an adopted child, then she and her family can have control over whom, if anyone, they share the information about her adoption with.  As a parent who, when out with my child who is of a different race, has been asked more than once "how much did your child cost", I can appreciate the desire for annomonity.

So, again, kudos to this wonderful family to adopting a child that most people would never even consider parenting due to the risks and difficulties of adopting an older child from a Russian orphanage.    [/quote]

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