Reply to impact of Alcoholics Anonymous on marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous]You are not alone and I can’t thank you enough for your bravery to come forward and share this! I feel very similar to what you’re going through! My husband and I have only been married 2 years which he was plastered for half of it. Before marriage, we had a long distance romance and I didn’t see his disease until after we said I Do.  I have an 11yr old son from a previous marriage that lives with us full time and I was blessed enough to be able to retire from my 26 yrs as a flight attendant. My son and I moved from PHX to LA to be with my husband and feel like I haven’t been able to build close, trustworthy friendships yet like I had in PHX for decades.  After 4 times in 2 years of my husband being admitted to different rehab centers, he finally got the right help and got sober, now attending AA daily. In addition, he is an executive of a bank that puts in 12 hour work days in a job he actually loves. When he does finally get home after being gone 14 hours a day and 2-3 hours on weekends, he then calls his sponsor every night and works on step work. Like you, I am Elated that he is sober and working towards a better lifestyle but I feel so alone, isolated, and left out. I’ve been to several AA meetings with him for support but I became hurt when he stopped inviting me so that he could work on his “step work” after the meeting with his sponsor. Whenever I To express How much I miss him and how lonely our marriage has become, he reminds me that our marriage will be over if begins drinking again. I know I should be happy about him staying sober in AA but I feel like AA has become his new mistress and New addiction. I do see aN addiction counselor for counseling but I don’t feel that things are getting better and it leads to me pulling away from my husband both emotionally and physically which often leads to bickering. My husband of course tells his sponsor every tiff we have and I’ve overheard his sponsor telling my husband to just pull away and not talk to me if I Have jealousy or problems with him leaving to meetings. I’ve always been a giver and people pleaser but now I’m Learning to put God first and me 2nd! When he has meetings, I take my son somewhere special or carve out ME time. I miss my husband but I also have to learn to let go at the same time and trust that God Has a grip on this. [/quote]

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