Reply to Oldest son has a lot of animosity towards middle son

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[quote=Anonymous]OP I'm sorry, this is hard. My partner's older sibling has a similar dynamic and the parents report it starting very, very early like you. So some of it is personality and kind of this innate jealousy/possessiveness. I can't say it will solve it, but I think if my partner was back in that time period in hindsight he would tell his parents to get full on family therapy asap. Once they are out of the house, the little control you do have right now evaporates. If this was non-covid times it would be easier as I dont know how effective virtual family therapy is, but I would try to find a well regarded family therapist (it's not easy so don't go to just anyone) that can try to help you all figure out any dynamics that are exacerbating this. I would sit down as a family and not target any on person but say that as a family, getting along, and enjoying being together is a priority and you are all going to be working on it together. Actually first I would talk to the therapist to figure out how to address it.

If you don't think you can get the kids to engage or they continue to refuse. Then you and your husband go to a family therapist together. You share the dynamics, get feedback and figure out how you all can make efforts to adjust them. [/quote]

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