Reply to Oldest son has a lot of animosity towards middle son

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My sibling and I were like this and are parents were like you and didn't care.  You need to stand up and protect the younger boys and set a good example.   You both also need to spend more 1-1 time with each child, especially the older one as he's clearly not getting his needs met.[/quote]

I am not sure where you get we don't care. We care very much. That is why I am posting. We have numerous conversations about this with each other and him when warranted. Also 16yo wants to be with his friends more than anything, not us. His "needs" are that he wants his brothers not to talk to him or even be in earshot. [/quote]

You are clear you don't step in.  He needs time with his parents.  If he doesn't get it he will go to his friends.  Guess COVID doesn't matter to you either.  If he doesn't want his brothers around, he can go to his room.[/quote]

We step in if it gets out of hand. We don't monitor or referee their every conversation. And he does go to his room.[/quote]

Sounds like you need to monitor and referee every conversation.  He'll do it because he can.[/quote]

If you don't intervene now you will alienate your middle son from the entire family. There is a good chance that he will blame you for his unhappy homelife and keep his distance himself from your family when he grows up.[/quote]

You don't think the oldest son will be the black sheep? It sounds like Middle and Youngest have a good relationship. Does 14 YO tune out 16 YO or he consistently shows a reaction?

On a lighter note, this is why I advocate having more than 2 kids, in case one of them always wants to pee in the pool. On the other hand, a mother is only as happy as her unhappiest child. Good luck, OP! [/quote]

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