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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Sexless-ness is an acceptable negative outcome from marriage"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^stop with the alarmist scare tactics intended to pressure women into panic sex, creep. The fact is most modern marriages, particularly among UMC and UC families, are not for love between two people anyway. They are essentially a structure intended to optimize the raising of children. So most people arent getting married because they are in some Romeo and Juliet mindset- they get married because they realize the person has desirable genes and a good disposition to be a good parent. So it would be ludicrous to get divorced when "the love is over". That's like quitting a job because you got bored or tired. Stupid and not considering of the long game[/quote] Where did I pressure women to have panic sex? Dead wrong! My only statement directed at wives who don't want sex is to get divorced. So you are now going to disagree with me on that? Really? If you want to make the case that a sexless platonic marriage should continue, well guess what I agree! It make practical sense, especially with kids. Just agree with me that platonic room mates have no expectation of fidelity, and I think we are all square. [/quote] I dont agree. That wouldn't be a marriage. We're not animals, and we shouldn't be chained to our basest instincts. As an adult, you should have the self control to last through periods of "I'm not having sex when I want it!" there are plenty of dissatisfactions people have during a marriage, and you have to deal with it as an adult. Trying to pressure a person into sex acts they dont want is never okay, and is very regressive [/quote] A wife is "unsafe" (to the point of not wanting sex).. and you are telling this unsafe wife NOT to divorce? You want this unsafe wife to stay married, not have sex, AND expect her husbands to remain "faithful". Sorry that does not work. You cannot pick and choose the parts of a "marriage" you want to uphold. I will go along with your plan that marriage need not be true-love-with-benefits ONLY IF you agree this relationship cannot be a monogamous one.[/quote] It does work. You are not the judge nor the jury on relationships. What has worked or not worked in your marriage is largely irrelevant, other than explaining your indignance. What you will "go along with" doesn't matter to a single soul on this planet other than perhaps your wife who I assume has already cut you off [/quote] You seem incapable of making any logical argument. 1) I repeatedly tell wives who don't want sex to NOT have sex... yet you keep accusing me of the opposite 2) You claim wives don't want sex because they feel unsafe and their husbands are lazy ass entitled losers... yet you protest my guidance to divorce that unsafe lazy ass loser husband 3) You happily redefine marriage not as "lovers" but as a practical structure to raise kids.... yet you screech about "sanctity of MARRIAGE" when I essentially agree with everything you said MINUS exclusivity 4) You tell one side to "just deal with dissatisfaction in a sexless marriage" yet call me indignant to ask the wife to "just deal with non-monogamy"[/quote] 1) The "either have sex or I'll leave/have an affair" thing is clearly a manipulation tactic. Sorry, you're not fooling anyone. 2) Wives don't want sex for a variety of reasons. Doesn't really matter why. 3) Yep... and lots of experts have agreed with me. Welcome to the modern era. And there's also a long history of this attitude throughout the centuries. 4) Yes... because monogamy is considered an integral part of marriage. Stepping outside of the marriage bonds transforms it into something else. Whereas sexlessness is considered par for the course in most marriages (and in fact widely jokes about/acknowledged) Sorry no one will sleep with you. But arguing on DCUM wont make your sad life any happier.[/quote] I can tell you that 0% of men in this world agree with your absurdly hypocritical definition of the SaNcTiTy oF mOdErN MaRrIaGe. And I think you are irresponsibly dangerous telling unsafe wives to remain married. My sex life is quite satisfying, thank you for your concern, and have a great day.[/quote] Oh, suddenly Mr. Logical isn't doing the bullet points anymore, and instead is reverting to Gen Z twitter meme-speak. Interesting. Wonder why that is :lol: It's "dangerous" to tell wives to stay married now... more absurd alarmist nonsense from you. I dont think it's a particularly effective argumentation tactic, as no one is going to believe these women are "dangerous" to anyone whatsoever, but hey... you do you. [/quote] Ok since you want to persist with a logical discussion let's go: 1) There is zero manipulation telling somebody (who has themselves already redefined the marriage) your honest requirements to stay "together", allowing them the freedom to make an informed choice to stay (accepting the terms) or end it. 2) The PP where I first replied made a solid argument about "wives don't want sex because they feel unsafe and he is a useless father/husband" and I agreed 100% with all of it... the only sane conclusion is to DIVORCE this unsafe loser !! 3) Show citations of experts who describe your version of modern marriage as sexless room mates .... who must uphold a pledge of fidelity (meaning celibacy) 4) Wait so it's not OK to redefine the modern marriage? We need to uphold the marital traditions? Which ones must be upheld, which can be discarded?[/quote] 1) There is manipulation when you're trying to force someone into behavior they don't want to engage in, especially something as personal as sex. Sexual coercion is not okay, whether it's taking place during a marriage or not. Again, the "Do what I want or I'm taking my toys home" thing is clearly a manipulation tactic and very obvious at that 2) Agreed that all DWs should divorce the plethora of loser DHs in this world- it's probably why women file for 70% of divorces. However, there can be plenty of reasons why women dont want to have sex, including feeling unsafe emotionally, but not unsafe to a level that would necessitate a divorce. Either way, it doesn't really matter.. her reasons for not having sex are valid, whatever they are. It's all okay. 3) https://qz.com/880084/love-based-marriage-is-not-the-best-model-for-raising-children/ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/contemplating-divorce/201601/you-divorce-why-not-try-parenting-marriage 4) No one is redefining he modern marriage... as I said, sexlessness and prioritization of children in marriage has been accepted for a long, long, long, long time. Expectation of non-monogomy never has. Nor has expectation of constant sex, really. That's some new Playboy fantasy modern, coddled men have adapted for themselves. [/quote]
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