Reply to I wrote my mom a letter

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We are about 3 years past "the letter".

His mom was awful, never spoke to him about "the letter", and the family continued to invite the rapist to family gatherings.

It was hard. My spouse loved his family, he kept contact with his dad and his mom in a limited way. I cut them out of my life. My kids are older and they will meet them for lunch about 2x / year.

My kids now have no family, no cousins, no place to go for Thanksgiving, no Xmas.

My H kept "giving them a break"... this is how they were raise, they had limited ability... blah, blah, blah.

Here is the deal.. your mom is an adult but SHE is not acting like one, adults admit fault, say sorry and do better. She has not done any of these things.

The best thing that happened in the past 3 years is my spouse's parents called recently and said can we meet for lunch and he said, "no". They asked why and he simply said "I don't really want to." That was it, he no longer wanted to.

That's it, he mourned the loss of the parents he wished he had, the parents that would have not brought him around a known rapist as a child, the parents that were not neurotic, the parents that should have denounced the rapist and had family parties without the rapist there. Those parents don't exist and he deserves better, they are not better, so they are not "his parents"... they are people who raised him and now it is time for him to fly away from the nest never to return.

They call, he is polite, he does not care that they suck. You will get there.

He did DBT, btw. I think it was the best therapy ever. [/quote].
Thank you[/quote]

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