Reply to I wrote my mom a letter

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, my mother would give the exact same response. I agree it is the abuser way. My mother was complex and had good qualities too. Plus, I was not sexually abused by anyone, just verbal and emotional.

I have learned to accept my mother is extremely limited and will never accept responsibility for any pain she causes. I chose to have a relationship with many boundaries. It's exhausting, but she in incapable of being the mother I wish i could have and she too was raised by someone abusive and limited so she knows no other way. She also lacks self-awareness and insight.[/quote]

Do you see her often?[/quote]

Not as often as she wants. FWIW, she is kind to my kids. She was not wired well for parenting. She did not get along well with my father and she had major anxiety and never got help because she looks down at people with mental health issues. You hate in others what you hate in yourself sometimes. Her mother was the exact same way and she figures she and her sister turned out well, married men with the right jobs and raised accomplished kids.

I think it's fine you wrote the letter. Her response showed you how limited she is. My mother responds horridly to confrontation too, but it was confirmation that she is incapable of getting how destructive she was.[/quote]

I could hug this person - I could have written it word for word.
[/quote]

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