Reply to Men: Do You Care If Your Wife Makes Less Than You?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My dh cares and wants me to change jobs for a more demanding higher paying one. We have 2 kids and i do most of the work. I told him I’d make a change but he needs to fully understand what that means for him. FWIW he already makes about 6-7 times than I do and I’m in low six fig. He thinks all the financial burden is gonna fall on him even though we live so modestly. It’s very frustrating. [/quote]
NP, my DH is like this too. He makes WAY more than I do and definitely has been the breadwinner. However, I've left jobs to move states with him multiple times, and cut off my salary at the knees as a result while he has pursued his aspirations in his own career. I've been the one over time to handle all the household and childcare duties outside of work and have had to go part-time for some years to handle it all. All this was fine with him and he considered this collateral damage for him making a bunch of money and moving up in his field.

He wants me to "lean in" and find a higher-paying job with more responsibility/prestige, but he's got complete cognitive dissonance when it comes to the time it takes to do my non-professional responsibilities in our house. As if I wouldn't want to be the Director of something or make a rewarding career for myself. I've told him before that what he wants for me would be very difficult to commit to under the current division of duties. He mostly brushes it off but will later suggest I am not reaching my "full potential." Meanwhile when I approached him a couple months ago about a potentially new job (making about the same but better professionally for where I want to go), he said something like "make sure it's flexible like your job now" with the implication of course that things will still fall to me.[/quote]

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