Reply to DH said that he’s not married on FB chat

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’d keep an eye on it. I’d get a good luck at his phone and email before I asked DH what it was about. [/quote]

Um, what do you think it's about?![/quote]

PP here. I think he is interested in flirting and potentially an affair. I just meant that I’d want to gather all the evidence before confronting him. That would tip him off to scrub all his accounts. [/quote]

This is a good tip from a divorce perspective.  Gathering evidence so it's ready to go is a very wise idea[/quote]

Evidence? For what? Just divorce. No one sues for at-fault divorce anymore.[/quote]

Wrong. Still an option. Provides evidence of adultery. Gives leverage emotionally. Also considered in alimony calculations depending on the state. [/quote]

It doesn’t provide evidence of adultery. For that you need two things: public display of affection and opportunity.

So, photographs of kissing and hand holding and going into a hotel room. Ideally pictures of them having sex but the first two will do the trick if documented. And it has to be multiple times.

Stuff said in chats or whatever? Not enough.

This is why people hire PIs.[/quote]

Again, her advice to gather the evidence she can still stands. Why are you arguing so much in defense of someone “flirting” and lying about his marriage to someone? Why intentionally giving OP misguided advice on how to move through this in a safe and rational way that protects her physically, emotionally, and financially? Those of us who have BTDT understand what is implied here. There is a greater risk from OP to have nothing than something.

Err on the side of caution op, document all you can, and start a journal. You can always correlate your events with discovery if necessary. And yes, a PI is an option as is camera footage.[/quote]

It’s your use of the word “evidence.” As someone who has been through this myself (on the victim side) most of what you are suggesting are irrelevant for legal purposes. But it the hyper vigilance is useful for the purposes of deciding to move on to separation and divorce, go for it. Just don’t break the law or it can blow back on you. [/quote]

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