Reply to Blindsided by potential cheating—how can I protect myself and the kids financially?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm going to break with the rest of the board and say that you should try to work on it.  Get into counseling.  Many people work through infidelity.

Based on everything you describe about your situation, your kids and your quality of life will absolutely plummet in a way that won't recover after a divorce.[/quote]

This.  Before you make any rash decisions, please get individual therapy and marriage therapy (if he is willing and wants to save the marriage - if he doesn't or isn't apologetic, then divorce).  It can be worked through.  You have young children.
Also, being a realist, you have no money and this will financially impact you forever - regardless of it being his fault.  It is worth trying to work through it.  At 42, with 50% of your retirement, you will have 50k in the bank.  You will not be able to retire.  You have no equity in your house.  You have made significantly bad financial decisions.  I hate to be the one to tell you but you are starting from scratch in your 40s if you divorce.  That 50k will be eaten by lawyer fees, you may get some child support or alimony but he will most likely file for bankruptcy.

It isn't pretty.[/quote]

This is a hard no.

OP your children deserve better. Divorce him, he lied to you over and over again. Why would you want someone like that? STD"s? Dishonestly? And financially you are already a mess leaving him won't make it worse it will be hard in the begining but you can do this for your children to have a better life.[/quote]

Her children don't have to know, shouldn't ever know and she would be doing them a huge disservice to tell them regardless of the outcome.  Her children deserve to not live in poverty.  As much as I can jump on the "divorce him and everything will be peachy" bandwagon, in this case, it won't.  Stop blowing smoke up her a$$. She allowed her finances to be a wreck, she chose to stay home and not save any money, sounds like she majorly overspent on a house, refuses to give up luxuries like a homeopathic doc, I bet she has two car payments, etc. etc. etc.  She can choose to live in a situation where there is not anger, raise her kids and make a decision on the marriage when they are out of the house and she only has to feed herself - it won't be perfect and will take a ton of work and sacrifice but it can happen.  That may be what is best for her children as she also made a ton of very bad choices that have put her squarely in the position to not be able to leave if she had to.  [/quote]

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