Reply to When someone asks for a burdensome favor and upon offense, says was "I was just asking the question"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Where did you grow up OP?  Regionally speaking. I have a theory about this [/quote]

Not OP, but I would be interested in hearing your theory.

I was born and raised in the Midwest, in more of a guess culture, and one of the members of my residency class was from NYC.  We were always butting heads over this, and it was hard to get along.  
The best example that I can think of was that I was scheduled to work until 8am the day before my wedding.  I put some feelers out and got some responses that it would be reasonable to ask someone to switch with me.  By the time I went to ask, I was confident of a “yes.” 
I looked at the schedule, NYC lady was the only one in my class who could do it.  I asked, and she said “no.”  I was pissed.  She didn’t understand what I was upset about, and I felt like she had violated the social contract.

Later, we were in a fellowship together, and I was chief.  One of my responsibilities was making the schedule.  This same woman was constantly asking for special consideration in the schedule.  It kind of blew my mind.  You want me to make sure that you have Christmas off after you peed on my wedding day?  Really?

But I think I understand better now.  She felt that there was no harm in asking, and assumed everyone felt that way.  So when I asked her, she felt free to say no.  And when she asked me for Christmas off or every Tuesday off or whatever random thing, she felt that I could just say no if I wanted to give the holiday to someone else or I didn’t feel like reworking the schedule around he special Tuesday thing.  [/quote]

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