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[quote=Anonymous]This is really good advice OP.

My aspie husband managed to say all the right things before kids came and the separation of chores wasn't bad, like 60-40. However, its hard to imagine all the extra tasks that come with kids and how truly and wildly exhausting it is to shoulder alone. There is no end to it.

I dont have curtain rods, or curtains, bc my husband doesn't think these are important. As well as several lights in major areas, etc.

Paper towels are the least of your problems. Put them on amazon. FWIW my husband also doesn't like those, so I use the blue fuzzy cleaning cloths called zwipes. I also buy paper towels on auto supply, along with every other recurring cleaning supply.

He doesn't think I need haircuts or clothes. I have shouldered a lot of guilt about these basics for a long time. It has come with a wierd price tag socially.

I had to fight a ton about basic clothes and toys for our children. Thank God we lived in a place where people shared stuff a lot with each other.

Yardwork? Lol. When he had his bachelor pad, no prob. He mowed it himself. Now that we have a family house? Epic disaster. I have set up.recurring mowers several times, we are finally on a decent group. And obviously when I say "we", I am sure you understand by now that it is all me.

Car maintenance is a newer issue for us. Gone are the days when he happily takes my car to the shop. Its obviously a but more awkward, as we have children and do not live in a walkable spot, so now is when I really need it. I am trying to figure that one out, maybe a newer car with some sort of extra transportation service bells and whistles.

It has taken us 11 years to get a diagnosis.

His social skills have gone from decent and charmingly eccentric, to pretty much Larry David and worse.

I am so lonely, in so.many ways. It is more socially isolating than a divorce.

He is rotten with the kids. It's not good.

Good luck OP. at the very least make a list of his preferences and negotiate something for you in return. 
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