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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When I met my slightly eccentric husband, I found him charming. He is somewhat contrarian and very confident. He grooms himself well, he is not on the autism spectrum, so his eccentricity was not initially off putting. But now that we have been married for 6 years, his [b]contempt for a typical family lifestyle[/b] of living is starting to really grate on me.

If he had his way, he would live like a graduate student for the rest of his life. Most adult responsibilities around caring for a home and family are superfluous in his view. A nursery for a baby with curtains? Shelves in the office? Completely unnecessary. Spending 2 hours helping me hang curtains is a [b]HUGE sacrifice he can barely bring himself to do[/b]. Doing dishes and other routine chores is fine though (thank god for that).

In his mind I am having a blast wasting our money buying paper towels, coffee, toiletries, etc. on amazon instead of fulfilling a necessary responsibility. His preference would be to go to the grocery store and buy individual roles of paper towels as needed as he is picking up his nightly dinner sandwich. Stocking a kitchen pantry with food and home supplies? Making dinner nightly to be healthy and save money? This is apparently a complete waste of energy and not only do I get no appreciation for handling it, I actually deal wit his [b]resentment [/b]about it.

During our marriage he has acquiesced to what 99% of people would consider to be normal way of living, but he apparently feels [b]deeply burdened[/b] by it. He [b]despises[/b] planning ahead and any encumbrances at all. And I apparently need to learn to give up some of these things or else he is going to keep being [b]resentful[/b].

He is apparently so resentful, that he [b]doesn't even want to have sex frequently[/b] despite my willingness. So that can't keep him happy.

I am at my wits end, and don't know what to do. I am not willing to be a working mother and live like a graduate student making every decision in the moment and living in a sparse home with no maintenance on anything required. I cannot believe I married someone who finds basic adult responsibilities a [b]massive sacrifice that he can't stomach[/b]. 
[/quote]

OP, the "tip" is that you guys need counseling stat, before your baby is born. Either you are overly dramatic and exaggerating his reaction to you wanting to buy paper towels, plan dinner, and hang curtains, or you are married to a huge a-hole. You try to claim that he can read and understand other people's emotional responses, yet he is withholding sex because he is mad that you want to buy a bookshelf? He is a selfish narcissist, and if you think your lifeis bad now wait until you are also trying to juggle a child.[/quote]

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