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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The problem isn't that some women choose to stay home with their kids. The problem is that almost no men do. Childcare is work. Taking care of a household is work. Taking care of aging or sick relatives is work. We just don't value it as a society, which is both why men don't choose to do it and why women who do get pilloried for "setting women back."

Also, when people say that a woman staying home with her kids is setting women back, this always seems to treat "women" as a group limited to UMC, mostly white women, in or near urban centers. No one really talks about or considers how this system shifts the burden of childcare and housework onto women of color and immigrant women who are often not paid very well because, again, we do not value this work in our society. This isn't me judging anyone who sends their kids to daycare or has a nanny or someone to come clean their house -- I support women in their choices. But I think if we are going to talk about what is setting women back, we should be talking about ALL women, not just women who look like you and have the same background as you.

[b]Another thing I've noticed is that makes people very uncomfortable when you say you enjoy being a SAHM. There is a very pervasive notice that childcare is drudgery and anyone who enjoys it must be too stupid or uneducated to understand that it's not important work. When I was staying home with my daughter for the first few years of her life, people would ask me incredulously, "Aren't you bored? What do you do all day?" The hilarious thing about this was that before I took time off with her, I was bored out of my mind in a job people consider intellectual (editor at a legal publication), and I loved the years I spent with her, learning about early childhood development, teaching myself to be more flexible and creative and spontaneous. It's not an exaggeration to say it's probably the best job I've ever had, but when I say that out loud to other professional women, some of them look at me like I've been lobotomized.[/b][/quote]

+100 I absolutely loved my years at home, from birth of first baby until my younger child was in kindergarten.  I know they don't remember those years but I do and I'm so glad I was able to take that time with them.  I wish everyone had the ability to handle those years as they wish, either working w/ good childcare or staying home.  There is not one right way to do it.

I did want to and went back to work FT but to a flexible job where I could regularly WAH 1-2 days a week plus they went to an ES that was really oriented around working parents so there was only very rarely some activity where they wanted parents to show up mid-day (like one time in K and one time in 3rd grade) and the aftercare program was large and all their friends were there.  So, I found it easy to transition to working full time.[/quote]

Same, this was my experience as well. I wish the US did what many European countries do and offered monthly payments to families for their kids (and generous parental leave policies) because I think more people should get the opportunity to do this, but it can be very hard financially. I also think more men would take longer parental leave and do more childcare if the government provided a subsidy, because that would assign a value to it.[/quote]

Why should governments do either?  Kids are a choice and if you cannot afford it, don't have them or as many.  I took maternity leave as I saved my leave for years.  I don't think the government should pay for maternity leave.  Having a child is a choice.  And, we should not offer monthly payments as your kids are your responsibility not anyone else.[/quote]

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