Reply to Is it rude to speak a second language with children

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I personally would not find this rude. I can understand other's frustration, however. Here's how I'd split the difference:

If you are a guest or a host, just speak English. I think this is polite so as not to make your host or your guests feel excluded. I think this is especially important because socializing with kids is already usually a really disjointed social experience (kids constantly interrupting, or parents getting distracted by their kids, makes conversation challenging enough already). This will also teach your children that they should speak English in this type of social situation, where speaking a language their friends don't could be seen as exclusionary or rude.

If you are just meeting up with other families or just happen to be around them, say at the playground or when walking around the neighborhood, speak to your kids in your native language. This is really different than being a guest in someone's home or having people in yours. I wouldn't think twice about one of my mom friends speaking to their kids in a language I don't understand at the playground, or during preschool pick-up, or whatever.

At home, talk to your DH about wanting to ensure your kids get enough exposure to your native language without making him feel excluded. Maybe create rules like "English only during meals." But then the rest of the time I think it makes sense for you to speak your native language to them, especially any time you are with them one-on-one. I would also suggest that your husband learns a collection of words and phrases in your language so that he can use these in your home and help reinforce the language skills. It might also help him get an ear for your native language and perhaps start picking up on it a bit. I have friends where the husband grew up a Spanish speaker and the wife had no Spanish when they married, but she has gained a reasonable amount Spanish since they had kids because her husband speaks to their kids in Spanish a lot and they use it as well.[/quote]

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